The honor of being alive has a hold on me today. My sweet @suleikajaouad just bore the brunt of the glee over text (sorry, Su 🙈😘).
I spent this past weekend writing. I didn’t shower, change my clothes or eat anything remotely nutritious. Words poured out. Fueled on survival and far too much coffee, I built out both a framework for my book and a roadmap of my past.
I spent years terrified to open my health records. Pages and pages of darkness - what untamed beasts of savagery lay within them? But Saturday, possessed with an undeniable knowing that I SURVIVED, I felt empowered and I opened the thousands of files.
I can’t say the experience was joyful but holy heck, in the pages I found proof that vulnerability WINS always and SURVIVAL is built on the courageous act of FEELING pain, fear and uncertainty and asking for help ALWAYS.
Many of you have asked me for years to write out a timeline of my psychiatric history so that you can better understand where my wisdom on so many lived experiences originates. And today, I present you that very timeline.
Before reading it - please - remember this:
ALL PAIN IS VALID.
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF ALL GOOD IN THIS WORLD.
ASKING FOR HELP IS PURE COURAGE.
THERE IS NO SHAME IN MENTAL ILLNESS / ONLY STRENGTH FOSTERED IN SURVIVING AND LEARNING TO LIVE WITH IT.
WHEN WE SHARE OUR VULNERABILITY, WE SET OURSELVES AND OTHERS FREE.
Okey, enough caps 😅 The link is in my bio and to all of you who have championed me - that is all of you, by the way, if that mind of yours is saying otherwise -
I would not be here, in this very moment without you.