#DaringDaily

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With tiny acts of bravery, we build a better tomorrow

I spent 31 years on this planet scared. I didn’t know why the fear paralyzed my soul or hijacked my body but I knew it stood in my way.

For the longest time, I thought that being uncomfortable or feeling scared was a reflection of my own failing & a weakness within me. That could not be farther from the case.

My fear & discomfort - though absolutely valid in feeling - was actually a misfiring of my mind. The feeling that - people, places, food - are dangerous was a real feeling but a misattribution of my fight or flight response.

When humans evolved, they developed a flight or fight response to alert them to famine & life ending threats like a bear eating them.

Today, though many still do live in life threatening situations, many of us who do not, suffer from the activation of this response in settings that actually are not life threatening. This is what we call anxiety.

Of course, in writing this makes total sense but then when someone asks us to do the very thing we’re scared of - ask for help, go to a party alone, wear tight pants, stand up for ourselves, speak in public - an act that would feel knee shaking, heart racing, hellish - our natural inclination is to avoid the fear-inducing act entirely.

I get that totally. I actually lived that wholeheartedly for years - avoiding ALL bad feelings, all feelings actually and isolating myself from anything that could induce this response.

But then, I learned exposure therapy & through it I learned to retrain my mind. .
Exposure therapy instructs the individual to do the EXACT thing that is feared & to stay in the discomfort. .
I have been doing this therapy for 6 years now - exposing myself to things I fear - over & over again in incrementally challenging settings.

I’ll be honest. It is hell. When I started, I was actually so scared that I was scared shitless for months the anxiety was so great. .
But the work- the feeling of fear - the living through fear - gave way to a life beyond it & this life is spectacular.

Today, I invite you to join me in this life-giving work - in #daringdaily. I believe if we do this work together, we can build a better world & I can’t wait to see you there.

Kate Fisher